He told her he was leaving on the first morning of the sling's last week, in the tone of a man announcing weather he does not expect to be thanked for.
The bag was already packed β she saw it when she came out with the coffee, sitting by the porch post with his rifle across it, and the bay in the corral wearing the look of a horse who has been told things. Dane stood at the rail with his back to the valley, and June set the coffee down very carefully, the way a person handles a thing that must not spill, and said, "Tell me the reasoning. All of it. We've had enough edited truth on this porch to last the territory."
"The reasoning," he said, "is that I am the man who led Silas Vane to your door. Whatever else I was β and God knows I keep a ledger of it longer than the one I stole β I was that. The siege, the barn, the knife β all of it walks in my boot prints. You've got a principality now, June, and a name the newspapers are printing in three states, and a future the lawyers are already upholstering. A future with Dane Mercer in it has a smuggler's clerk at the table and a question in every visitor's eyes. I won't be the stone in your shoe for the next fifty years. I'll take the north road, and the border work Whitlock offered β guiding for the marshals who are cleaning up the routes β and I'll be a rumor again. It's the trade I know."
He said it well. He had plainly rehearsed it on the porch in the dark, and June listened to the whole performance with her arms folded, and when he was finished she let the silence stand until it had said its piece too.
"My father sent you away once," she said then, "for the crime of being findable. You were thirteen, and it still wasn't your choice β it was his arithmetic, and it was right, and it cost you your whole life, and neither of you ever once pretended it was fair. Now you're proposing to do it to yourself, at twenty-five, in peacetime, for the crime of being embarrassing at dinner." She stepped down off the porch to stand in front of him, where he had to look at her. "The danger's done, Dane. You keep protecting me from a war that's over. Protection is finished. It's finished. And do you know what's left, when protection's finished?"
He shook his head, a fraction.
"Choice. Plain, unpanicked choice β the thing neither of us has ever actually had. You don't get to make yours alone out of habit and call it honor." Her voice shook, and she let it; she had learned from a letter in a cedar chest to give the facts before the feelings, and she had given the facts. "Here is mine. I choose the man who laid his rifle down on my porch boards. I choose the boy who watched my smoke for twelve years and never once came down to warm himself, because he thought my safety was worth his whole life in the cold. I choose him knowing exactly what he is, which is more than anyone in this territory can say of their choosing, and I am not β I am not β going to be protected out of my own life a second time. Not by him. Not by you. Not by anybody's ghost."
The coffee went cold. The bay stamped in the corral.
Dane looked at the packed bag a long moment, and June watched him see it the way she did β not as luggage but as an artifact, the thirteen-year-old's bundle, packed the same way, with the pendant going around the neck and the whole of a life arranged to be carried away from the only house that had ever wanted him. He had been packing that bag, in one form or another, since 1874. Every camp, every winter, every temporary roof: packed by the door, ready for the order to move on. She understood that the bag was not the decision. The bag was the habit, older than the decision, and habits of twelve years' standing do not die because a woman makes a speech, even a good one. They die the way fences fall β one post at a time, with help. Dane Mercer stood in her yard with his packed bag at his feet and twelve years of orders coming apart in his face, and said, finally, in the voice of a man setting down something heavier than a rifle:
"Then I'll have to learn how to stay. I've had no practice, June. None. I'll be poor at it."
"Good," June said. "I've had no practice at having anyone. We'll be poor at it together, and improve with supervision." And she picked up his bag β his good arm's worth of protest dying unspoken β and carried it back into the cabin herself, and put it on the peg by the door, where things that belong to the house are kept.