I was adopted at 3 days old from St. Thomas Hospital. My mother was a sweet little Southern gal who was incredibly nurturing and loving. My dad was a first-generation Yugoslavian that, like his father and brother, liked drinking more than anything.

My earliest memories are all of my mom. She would take me for walks up our country road when the weather was nice. And when we were home, if her favorite song came on the radio, she would scoop me up and twirl me around in her arms. She loved to dance! She loved me and she loved life — but by the time I was 4, she was dying of cancer. I didn't see her much during her last year of life; she died when I was 5 and a half.

My entire life changed after she was gone. My dad had no clue what to do with me, so he farmed me out with relatives — a few months here, a few weeks there. It was awful. I, at this point, had zero idea that I was adopted. My focus was on surviving. I was the quietest child you'd ever want to meet!

When I was 7, he remarried. A widow with a younger-than-me son who was her sole reason for living. It wasn't long before my dad was being a nasty drunk and they were fighting. No matter how much they fought, she didn't divorce him, even though she filed several times. When those times happened, she would take her son and run back to her mother. I spent more than one holiday weekend all alone, with my drunk father being in a stupor. It wasn't a happy time in my young life. I was basically on my own; he passed out!

When I was 13, my stepmother took me shopping for an Easter dress. We found a dress, and at the register, she offered her "charge plate" from that store. Back then, it was metal and had your name and address embossed on it. When the cashier saw the name, she said, "Oh, I knew someone by that name from that area, but she was very ill." My stepmother responded with, "Yes, that was my husband's first wife, but she passed away." Then the cashier said, "Whatever happened to that little girl they adopted?" I was standing right there and I was shocked!! They adopted a little girl? Where was she? What had they done with her? As we walked away, my stepmother asked me if I knew who she was talking about. I said, "No, who is she?" BOOM!! "It’s you," she responded!!

WOW!! I remember running through the store crying. I felt very betrayed. And I might add — through all of this sadness in my young life, no one EVER told me they loved me or tried to soothe my wounds after my original mother died.

I'm sure "she" had tried to get my father to tell me I was adopted and he had refused. But once he knew that I knew, information came forth like a flood. He told me who my mother was, that I had a brother 15 months older than me that she had kept — but she didn't want me — and reminded me often that I would grow up to be a "whore" like my birth mother. What a guy!!

Life was brutal for me from a mental standpoint, but all of it made me very strong and determined. After graduation, I went to college, where I met my first husband. I was so determined to not go back to my father's home that I married young before finishing school. And, of course, I got pregnant quickly. I must say that when my son was born, my heart overflowed with joy — I could finally hug and love another human that was a part of me!! Three years later, I had a baby girl and I thought my heart would burst!! So much love.

But sadly, my husband turned out to be an alcoholic and we had serious problems. I was working in a very lucrative position, and the company offered me a transfer to another state. I thought if I got him away from his drinking buddies, perhaps we could have a fresh start. Around the same time, my dad died. I never shed a tear... I really hated all that he had said and done to me. So, moving was a fresh start for me too.

I'll flash forward quickly... we divorced after 3 years in our new state. He left and went back from whence he came, I stayed in the new state.

I had reached out to my deceased mom's sister, as I suspected that someone knew somebody that knew my birth mother — and I was right!!

After a year, I met a nice man and after 2 years, we married. In the meantime, I was in contact with my aunt. In the spring of 1980, she called me at 7:30am on a Sunday morning to tell me she had met my birth mother the night before and that said mother wanted me to call her. Of course, I had to get my wits about me, but I did call her an hour later. And we had a most pleasant chat. Three weeks later, we met in person. That was quite interesting... I felt very calm, but she was a nervous wreck.

Our relationship was pleasant. I met my brother, his wife, and children. But I must say — she, my birth mother, was a conniving liar. She had told me who my father (allegedly) was, and that my brother and I were 100% siblings. She told me my father had been a merchant marine, was 6'3" tall with clear blue eyes and strawberry blond hair, and had died 6 years after my birth in a car accident. Several of those statements were bold-faced lies — which I will never understand. During our years of seeing each other (she lived in another state), I caught her in multiple fibs. I always called her on them... that my (alleged) father actually died 7 years after I met her — and not in a car accident; he died of cancer.

My birth mother passed in 2012. I remain fairly close to my two nieces (my brother passed in 2005), but the reason I keep adding "alleged" when I reference my father is that it turns out her insistence that my brother and I had the same father was her best lie of all!

In November of 2024, some settings on my Ancestry page changed, which alerted me to some previous dead-end leads. I know now who my bio father was — and that I have 2 half-sisters who are not responding to me. But it's okay, as my life is quite full of love, finally, even without them!

It's been a crazy journey. And as quiet and invisible as I was as a kid, I am completely the opposite of that today. I'm still married and deeply in love with my 2nd husband (even after 40+ years). Life is good. I have to say, as an add-on, that when I make reference to my REAL mother, it's that very sweet Southern gal that danced with me in her arms and was sooo incredibly loving and nurturing. I love and miss her every single day. I always wish we had had a lifetime together.